My Love Don't Cost A Thing

Post #2

Gifts

According to Emerson, gifts should be given as something that “represent[s] your life and talent, [not] a goldsmith’s.” A gift instead of some pretty thing bought at a shop should be “a portion of thyself.” The monetary value of a gift does not matter, it is the thought behind the gift that counts, the “man’s biography [that] is conveyed in his gift.” Why are you giving this gift to this person? A gift must have meaning behind it and not bought just because it represents the material wealth of a person. As Emerson puts it, “Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts.” Emerson feels that gifts should be received with neutrality. This is because he feels that if one receives a gift with joyous happiness, then it says that one loves the material item more than the person who gave it the gift. If one receives a gift with grief than it is disrespectful to the giver and it show that giver is not a true friend because he or she does not really know the receiver. Emerson believes that when giving a gift do not expect to receive one back, because than a gift is not really a gift, it is more of a debt that needs to repaid. He quotes the Buddhist who says, “Do not flatter your benefactors.” I completely agree with Emerson on this point of view. If your gift is a true gift than it is from the heart and does not need a repayment of any kind. Even your friends “eat your service like apples, and leave you out”, still “love them, and they feel you, and delight in you all the time.” Emerson is critiquing the differences between a true heartfelt gift versus the material or necessary gift. Even though necessity makes a great gift for a person in need, it is not an ideal gift because it causes the giver satisfaction. With satisfaction the giver feels superior to the receiver, and then the receiver becomes indebt to the giver. The best gift to give Emerson feels is one that contains a piece of oneself. It is not the material wealth of the gift that counts, but the love and compassion behind the gift.
If I followed the law of Emerson gift-giving, I feel that it would be easier to express true feelings for someone. My gifts would be more genuine and given from the heart. If the whole world followed Emerson’s rule of gift receiving and giving, I feel the world would be a better place. The world would be much happier and filled with more love than hate.
The closest thing to an “Emersonian” gift I have received was a metallic red stereo and a Baha Men CD for my ninth birthday. This gift was from my father and I loved it. I was totally surprised by this gift and it was just so unexpected because in our family we usually don’t get gifts for each other. I had never received a surprise gift for my birthday, Christmas, or any other holidays you get gifts for. I believe this was in 2003, when The Crocodile Hunter Movie just came out (RIP Steve Irwin) and the Baha Men did a song for the movie and I was completely obsessed with that song. One day my dad came home holding a large box, I thought it was just some of his office supplies, it shocked me when he said it was a birthday present for me. This was the first real birthday present I have ever received in my life. I say this is an “Emersonian” gift because my dad for the first time ever actually got me a present and surprised me with it. Even though, it’s not handmade, I know it was a gift true from my dad’s heart.

What Are Friends For?

Post #3

The Friendship Experimentation

Stepping into the shoes of an “Emersonian” friend was quite challenging for me. I spent a whole day isolated from the people I wanted to talk to the most, made some people angry by speaking my mind, and the hardest thing of all was controlling myself to not to interact with people and just being alone.

I would define the three most important aspects of an “Emersonian” friendship is authenticity, loyalty, and compassion. With authenticity, a relationship between friends is genuine and is comfortable. With loyalty, there is trust between friends and the two can always count on each other if in need of assistance. Compassion is the heart of the friendship; it is the love and care shown for each other. With these three traits a friendship is sure to thrive.

Emerson states “our friendships hurry to short and poor conclusions, because we have made them a texture of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fibre of human heart.” I am guilty of this act because I want to be everyone’s friend and I rush into a friendship, in which I have so many different friends, that I do not get to know each of them intimately. I can’t say that I have one best friend, but many friends. The difference is that I know people on a level in which I can start a conversation with them, but not on a deep level in which I tell them all my feelings. This is one of my many flaws that would be hard for me to change instantly, however as I grow and find myself, I will also find that one best friend who will be a constant in my life.

Another quote from Friendship that I tested was, “A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.” This aspect of the “Emersonian” friend I am proud to say I do not have a hard time with. I have noticed at most times I do say what I’m thinking and there’s not much of a filter my thoughts go through. At times there are random thoughts that come out of my mouth that doesn’t make sense, but a true friend would just laugh at it and shrug it off.

I also experimented with Emerson’s paradox of friendship. According to Emerson, “I who alone am, I who see nothing in nature whose existence I can affirm with equal evidence to my own, behold now the semblance of my being, in all its height, variety and curiosity, reiterated in a foreign form; so that a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.”
What Emerson means is before you can be a true friend, you need to find yourself first and establish who you are. This I tried to do by just being alone for a period of time. I thought about the survey I did in Mr. Ruderman’s AP U.S. History class, which described your personality and traits. The survey showed that I was a Guardian, a person very protective of the people they cared for. I recognized that I am a very calm and tranquil person, I never get mad and I cannot hate anyone. I care a great deal about my friends and would do anything for them, even trade my life for their safety. I value this “guardian” characteristic I have because it shines through in my relationship with others and keeps my friendships secure.

As my life changes over years, I am still searching for that one best friend that will stick with me until the end of time.

Other Friendship Quotes that I found interesting:

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." - C. S. Lewis

"The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?" - Henry David Thoreau

My Interpretations of Emerson (Self-Reliance)

Post #1

“We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents.”
- We are afraid to speak our minds because we are afraid of what others would say or think of us.

“Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members.”
- By having to conform to the will of the society, every man loses his individuality.

“What I must do, is all that concerns me, not what the people think.”
- Do what you like, not what others like.

“Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”
- Your own mind is the essence of your individuality.


I would like to comment on and connect three of Emerson’s quotes. First, I will start with, “We but half express ourselves and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents.” I see this quote as expressing the idea that people are afraid to express their own ideas and actions. People do not have the confidence in themselves to speak out and convey their own beliefs. They are afraid that people will deny, shoot down, or make fun of their ideas, that is why they are “ashamed” to show their individuals ideas in public. For example, a student in class might be afraid to speak out his or her ideas because he or she is embarrassed because he or she knows that he or she will be made fun of. This idea then relates to, “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members.” These two relate because it is society that sets these standards and restrictions of what ideas are appropriate and what ideas are not right. Due to the society, many are afraid to speak their minds because it is not what others think. I interpret this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson as the loss of individuality due to the demanding ways of society. Many people feel more comfortable being part of the majority rather than the minority and is sucked in to that majority group. Since everyone wants to be part of the group, they conform to the group views and lose their own individual personality and instead instill the group’s ideals. Another way society hurts individualism is through the media. From magazines to the TV, it is star-studded with the latest fashion trends, the top 10 most beautiful people, weight loss tip, etc. The media has created this ideal image of what people should wear, how people should act, and which celebrity people should be like. The media has made celebrities god-like and makes it feel like they should be worshipped. So many people want to be just like their favorite celebrities and copy them exactly in many aspects of life. This is why in many advertisements; big companies hire celebrities to represent their brand, people want to have what the celebrities have so they purchase the items that the celebrities endorse. This then takes away from individuality because instead of being yourself, everyone wants to be like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. With that point given we come to the final quote, “Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.” I feel that Emerson is trying to convey the idea that your own thoughts and ideas are the most important to your individuality. Your individualism and personality is who you are, it is what you are made of and represent. Without your own beliefs or opinion there would be no you. You would be nothing, your mind is the object that shapes your personality and creates your persona that the people around you associate with. By conforming to the will of society it is like having your freedom taken away. There would be no you and instead a million Brad Pitts.