What Are Friends For?

Post #3

The Friendship Experimentation

Stepping into the shoes of an “Emersonian” friend was quite challenging for me. I spent a whole day isolated from the people I wanted to talk to the most, made some people angry by speaking my mind, and the hardest thing of all was controlling myself to not to interact with people and just being alone.

I would define the three most important aspects of an “Emersonian” friendship is authenticity, loyalty, and compassion. With authenticity, a relationship between friends is genuine and is comfortable. With loyalty, there is trust between friends and the two can always count on each other if in need of assistance. Compassion is the heart of the friendship; it is the love and care shown for each other. With these three traits a friendship is sure to thrive.

Emerson states “our friendships hurry to short and poor conclusions, because we have made them a texture of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fibre of human heart.” I am guilty of this act because I want to be everyone’s friend and I rush into a friendship, in which I have so many different friends, that I do not get to know each of them intimately. I can’t say that I have one best friend, but many friends. The difference is that I know people on a level in which I can start a conversation with them, but not on a deep level in which I tell them all my feelings. This is one of my many flaws that would be hard for me to change instantly, however as I grow and find myself, I will also find that one best friend who will be a constant in my life.

Another quote from Friendship that I tested was, “A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.” This aspect of the “Emersonian” friend I am proud to say I do not have a hard time with. I have noticed at most times I do say what I’m thinking and there’s not much of a filter my thoughts go through. At times there are random thoughts that come out of my mouth that doesn’t make sense, but a true friend would just laugh at it and shrug it off.

I also experimented with Emerson’s paradox of friendship. According to Emerson, “I who alone am, I who see nothing in nature whose existence I can affirm with equal evidence to my own, behold now the semblance of my being, in all its height, variety and curiosity, reiterated in a foreign form; so that a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.”
What Emerson means is before you can be a true friend, you need to find yourself first and establish who you are. This I tried to do by just being alone for a period of time. I thought about the survey I did in Mr. Ruderman’s AP U.S. History class, which described your personality and traits. The survey showed that I was a Guardian, a person very protective of the people they cared for. I recognized that I am a very calm and tranquil person, I never get mad and I cannot hate anyone. I care a great deal about my friends and would do anything for them, even trade my life for their safety. I value this “guardian” characteristic I have because it shines through in my relationship with others and keeps my friendships secure.

As my life changes over years, I am still searching for that one best friend that will stick with me until the end of time.

Other Friendship Quotes that I found interesting:

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." - C. S. Lewis

"The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?" - Henry David Thoreau